On 7th February 2016, my younger brother, Jonathan, passed on to glory in a train accident. I cannot express the pain and grief that I experienced. It is a mental pain that is so deep that I could literally feel in my chest. It shook every aspect of my being – especially my faith. I came to a point where I thought that that was the end of all that I believed, hoped and lived for!
All through the bus journey to Thanjavur to see my brother’s mortal body for the very last time, I was so angry with God. I could not bear the thought of my parents. Jonathan being a premature baby, they loved and cared for him in an extra special way. Not a day went past without them praying for us and declaring the promises of God over us. I was so scared to even imagine their condition.
On arrival, I saw them weeping. And then I saw them lifting their hands in tears crying, “Daddy! Daddy God!”
The day following the funeral we had the memorial service. Mom and dad were lifting their hands worshipping. Mom stood and testified about Jonan’s miraculous birth and shared some key moments in their life. Dad played the guitar, sang the song, “Oru Thai Thetruvathupol En Thaevan Thaetruvar” (Translated ‘As a mother comforts her child, my Lord will comfort me!’)
The same week, mom was scheduled to preach at a womens conference previously. She boldly went and shared the Father’s love.
I couldn’t help but ask myself, “How is it even possible?”
Those few days, my faith grew numb. I did not speak to God. But even in such a moment something spectacular happened inside me.
I have read and heard sermons on the following verses a zillion times.
Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
Surely He has borne our griefs
And carried our sorrows. Isaiah 53:4
However, at that moment I experienced these verses. I literally felt Daddy God surgically removing my pain and grief, replacing my aching heart with His peace. I could not process what was happening. Although I miss my brother immensely, my heart does not ache. There is no anguish. I am not in dispair. There is a peace filling me. It cannot be explained!
It was then I realised, that it was because of the same peace my mom could testify and my dad could sing!
Over the last few weeks, we are experiencing an outpour of love from people known and unknown. We can feel their love, thoughts and prayers enveloping us. Thank you! It means a lot!
Many in the process of genuinely comforting us say, “We cannot question God! He is sovereign!”
Here is something I would like to share.
God created us with intelligence and the sense of reasoning. How could He then expect us not to reason or question?
I am not sure if it is a cultural view wherein to question a person, especially older or someone respectable, is considered inappropriate.
As parents, we know it is when we reason and question, our understanding grows. So it is in the family of God where He is our Father, our Daddy!
Only an insensitive dictator will expect his subjects to obey him without questions! God is NOT a distant dictator! My Daddy is the first person I run to when I have a question!
“Come now, and let us reason together,”
Says the Lord! Isaiah 1:18
Who else but a loving Father could make such a statement? In God there is no ego! He does not feel belittled when questioned! Neither does He feel threatened!
Jesus said, “ASK and it shall be given to you!” Matthew 7:7
Very unfortunately we have reduced the meaning of this verse to asking material things! When He said ‘ASK’ it meant anything – even your questions and doubts!
When He said ‘ASK’, it meant –
ONLY He can be asked!
Because ONLY He can give!
ONLY He has the answers!
For He ONLY is the answer!
My friend, is some question tormenting you? Ask! Ask Daddy! Question Him!
Just remember, He chooses how to answer!
As humans, controlled by time and the laws of nature, our minds are so programmed to answers that are again controlled by all these factors. We are so used to algorithms and formulas. Daddy is not time bound. He is not bound by any natural element!
The Lord says, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8, 9
He will answer all your questions! Just that some questions are beyond human understanding. For such questions, He Himself becomes the answer! And that is when you are filled with the peace that transcends human understanding!
You can never answer a ‘heart-question’ with a ‘head-answer’!
– Jesudian Silvester
For some questions an answer is all you need. But when it comes to something as intense as a pain or a hurt, an answer does not suffice! You need a Person! You need Peace! You will find both in Jesus!
Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27
The peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7
This is the peace that my parents and I are experiencing at the moment! I pray the same peace fills you!